Curiosity Over Conflict: The Marketer's Guide to Constructive Conversations
How to stop defending your corner and start building smarter ideas, teams, and strategies.
We’re in an age where marketing leaders are expected to show up as strategists, psychologists, negotiators, and diplomats, often in the same meeting. In one breath, you’re defending long-term brand investment to a CFO obsessed with quarterly ROI. Next, you’re resolving tension between sales and product, or trying to align regional teams with global direction.
And somewhere in all that friction, the real conversation gets lost.
It’s replaced by defensive postures, decks as shields and ideas watered down until they’re unrecognisable. Silence is mistaken for agreement and the tragic loss of what could’ve been a breakthrough, if only the room had the tools to talk constructively.
The sad part is that it doesn’t have to be this way.
There’s a simple but radical reframe we can use:
What if we stopped trying to win the argument and started trying to make progress?
Because the marketing leaders who learn how to navigate conflict without shutting it down are the ones who build influence, shift mindsets, and drive real change.
The Battle Between Defensiveness and Curiosity
We’ve been taught that good strategy means certainty. Strong opinions. Defensible logic. The problem is that “defensible” too often becomes “defensive”. And when we’re defensive, we stop listening.
Instead we only listen to counter, not to understand. We play verbal ping-pong and become so fixated on proving we’re right that we lose the opportunity to make the idea better.
So what’s the antidote to this?
Curiosity.
How curious are you when in these difficult conversations?
If you recognise your behaviour in any of the above, try this pivot:
“I never thought about it that way before. What can you share that would help me see what you see?”
It’s a deceptively simple sentence. But it performs a vital function: it deactivates ego and invites contribution. It acknowledges there may be something you don’t know.
I am not suggesting that we all become passive. But I do believe we need to be more strategically open. That openness is your competitive advantage.
Climbing Walls, Not Boxing Rings
Too often, disagreement in marketing meetings feels like a zero-sum game. Brand vs performance. Sales enablement vs demand generation. Precision vs emotional storytelling.
Here’s a better metaphor: stop seeing tough conversations as boxing rings. Start seeing them as climbing walls. The goal isn’t to knock the other person down, it’s to build something taller and more stable, one grip at a time.
In practice, that means:
Asking better questions, not just making stronger assertions.
Building on what’s helpful in someone else’s perspective, even if you disagree with the whole.
Getting specific about where you do align, before tackling where you don’t.
It also means treating tension as a signal, not noise.
If a sales leader pushes back on your messaging strategy, don’t shut them down. Climb the wall with them.
Ask: “What signals are you hearing from the field that I might be missing?”
Every objection is a window into the reality you don’t yet see.
Great marketing leaders use those windows. They don’t paint over them with bullet points.
From Ideas to Impact: Making Dialogue a Strategic Discipline
Marketing thrives on ideas and innovation, but businesses don’t thrive on ideas alone. They thrive on aligned execution. And that alignment isn’t built through strategy decks. It’s built through disciplined, constructive dialogue.
What often appears to be a ‘strategy gap’ is actually a conversation gap.
How do we close it?
We stop aiming for agreement and start aiming for clarity.
We stop avoiding friction. We start learning to walk through it, together.
And we create environments where people feel safe enough to say, “This doesn’t make sense to me” without fear of looking unaligned or uncommitted.
In high-performing teams, constructive disagreement isn’t rare. It’s routine. Leaders actively invite it, manage it, and model it, not as a threat to unity, but as the heartbeat of progress.
The Marketer's Toolkit for Constructive Conversations
If you’re ready to bring this into your day-to-day leadership, here’s what you need to practice:
1. Name the shared goal.
Always start conversations by surfacing the common purpose. “We’re both trying to grow the business.” “We’re all trying to protect the brand.” It frames the disagreement as collaborative, not combative.
2. Make space for dissent.
Instead of asking, “Any thoughts?” (which invites polite silence), ask: “What might I be missing?” or “Where does this break for you?”
3. Reward insight, not consensus.
When someone challenges you constructively, thank them, especially in front of others. That’s how you build a culture where truth matters more than politeness.
4. Stay humble on the hill.
Remember, every strategic idea is a hypothesis. Don’t confuse conviction with correctness. Stay open to learning, not just lobbying.
5. Exit the echo chamber.
Bring in outside voices. Talk to sales. Talk to customers. Talk to junior team members. Curiosity doesn’t scale if it’s only pointed upwards.
Why This Matters Now More Than Ever
Marketing is moving fast. AI is reshaping roles. Boards are demanding clearer ROI. Customers expect more relevance and less noise. And teams are under pressure to do more with less.
In this context, alignment is your growth strategy.
And alignment doesn’t come from louder arguments. It comes from braver conversations.
So the next time you’re walking into a meeting where you know there will be tension, don’t armour up.
Arm yourself with curiosity.
And ask: What can I learn here that I didn’t already know?
Because the strongest marketers aren’t the ones who win every conversation.
They’re the ones who leave every conversation smarter.
See you next week,
Emma
Built to Last is a weekly Substack for marketing leaders who want to think deeper, act sharper, and lead better. Subscribe for essays, tools, and practical strategies that work in the real world.